The Cockroach Story

A few nights ago, Ray and I just could not fall asleep for the life of us. It was hot and muggy, and our bed is harder than what our bodies are used to, there was no helping the situation. As I lay there with my eyes closed, just trying to convince my brain to shut off, I decided there was no hope, and I opened my eyes. It was about 2AM, the lights were off, and there was just a faint glow coming in from outside. I looked to our ceiling... and saw a large black spot. I instantly began rationalizing with myself, wasn't the paper on the ceiling peeling? Could this not be just a small hole I had never noticed before? But it was no use. I knew.

I tapped Ray. "Please tell me that's a hole in the paper and not a cockroach on our ceiling?" I whimpered.

"Do you really want to know?" responded Ray after a moment of searching.

Shuddering and groaning with disgust, I wrapped myself in our sheet and bolted out of the room into the hallway. We couldn't turn on the light, because the cockroach would have beelined it to who knows where! Instead, Ray grabbed the bug spray, and a bowl, and we developed an elaborate plan.

Standing on our bed, in the dark, with bug spray in hand, Ray poised himself for a most terrifying battle. Meanwhile, I still stood pathetically out in the hallway, hardly able to even look at the black lump on the ceiling. We counted down, "3, 2, 1, now!" and Ray sprayed the varmint! It scuttled about a foot and then stopped long enough that Ray was able to snap the bowl around it, trapping him. I reentered the room to hand Ray a piece of paper so he could slide it between the bowl and the ceiling. This he slowly did. The cockroach fell into the bowl with a disgusting thud, and began running around the inside of the bowl. I will never forget that clicking, awful sound! Bleh!

I've no idea how Ray kept his composure. He reports he could feel the creature throwing itself around inside the bowl and against the paper. But somehow he managed to walk the trapped thing out of our room, down the hall, and into the stairwell where we debated what to do next. The cockroach was obviously not dead, we could see and hear him moving. We didn't want to lift the bowl up and then try to squish him as he ran. Cockroaches are much faster than you think. Drawing upon my 6 year old, spider killing knowledge, I suggested we just spray the heck out of the paper, turn the trap over, and allow the fumes of the bug spray to waft up and become trapped in the bowl with the cockroach, effectively destroying him.

So this we did. Ray moved his hand long enough for me to drench the paper in bug spray, and then he quickly flipped the trap over onto the ground. For good measure we put a heavy hiking boot on top of the bowl... you just can't trust these guys, okay?

Falling asleep was even more difficult after that- knowing what was crawling around us in our sleep! But somehow we managed to finally rest, and in the morning, the cockroach was dead. Victory! We have done what an atomic bomb could not.

Ray disposed of the body, I still couldn't bring myself to look at it. For the sake of having all the facts, the cockroach was about an inch and a half long, and I know that's not the worst that has been found in our apartment. Here's to four more months of 2AM cockroach killing sprees!